Lost amongst the many different stresses and emotional battles that emerge in a divorce case is the fact that children can often feel the effects of a divorce just as much as their parents do. In fact, many people do not recognize that a child’s emotional health can be a lot more fragile than that of an adult.
Therefore, it is important to help your children cope with their new situation. There really is no easy way to do this, but here are a few guidelines to easing them into the transition to their new family circumstances.
Keep Your Word
Children can often feel betrayed, lied to, and a number of other emotions having to do with lost trust during a divorce. The best way you can regain that trust is by always being honest with your children and keeping your word, regardless of your custody situation. If you tell your child you will be there to pick them up at a certain time, be there as close to that time as possible. If you can’t keep your word, let them know as soon as possible and explain why.
Allow Your Children to Communicate
Children often feel as though they do not have the ability to speak their mind in a divorce, and this should never be the case. If your child is sad or confused (which is very likely), allow them to express why. When they do, don’t sugarcoat your answers, but likewise do not criticize the other parent. This is what most frequently leads to resentment of one spouse by the children, a feeling that is frequently unwarranted.
Do Not Fight with Your Spouse in Front of Your Children
Divorces often have heated exchanges over a number of topics, including unreliability, finances, and terms of the agreement. However, children who are exposed to fights frequently have the hardest time adjusting to their new situation. If you need to have a loaded conversation, do it over the phone or when your children are not around. You don’t necessarily have to be the best of friends with your ex, but save the serious business for when you don’t have to worry about stressing your children out.
If you need assistance with your divorce, contact the experienced Orange County divorce mediator at Alternative Divorce Solutions. Attorney-Mediator Lani Baron understands the stress and emotional turmoil that a divorce can bring on all members of a family, and works hard to help you reach a mutually beneficial and positive outcome. A mediator can even help you come to a more fair and satisfactory conclusion for difficult topics, including custody, asset division, and more.Contact Alternative Divorce Solutions today by calling (949) 558-2624 and let us provide you with a free consultation!