I am getting divorced. Who needs to know?

Divorce can bring up a lot of feelings of shame, fear or guilt. Some people feel like a failure and others don’t even want to acknowledge that it is happening to them. While we know that this is a difficult time, it is important that you let a few people in on what is going on.

  • Family and Friends No, not all of your family needs to know right away. But once a decision is made, you need to talk to your children. If you aren’t sure about how to tell your children, then speak with a professional, such as a child counselor regarding how to have this conversation in the safest and most appropriate manner. It is also important to tell people that are your main sources of support. Being alone without people to turn to during a divorce can be extremely difficult and emotionally devastating. If you fear what other people will think, just remember that this is about making a decision that is best for you. You need to be confident, regardless of the opinions of others.
  • Estate Planner Divorce impacts your estate. Telling your estate planner will help you in planning for the future and in figuring out what is best for your divorce agreement. Further, if you have an estate planner, they might need to speak with your financial advisor to come up with the best strategy for you.
  • Financial Advisor We have seen people in the past try to hide assets and not be forthright during the divorce. This only draws out your divorce. It is important to be honest with your financial advisor and mediator/attorney so they can help you in coming to a decision about what you need post-divorce.
  • Business Partner If you own any kind of business entity with another person, you would need to let them know as well, depending on how the company was set up. The divorce could impact how shares are divided. Also, if you have a business, then you probably have a CPA to assist you with financial matters.
  • CPA Your accountant will be of great value to you during the divorce. They can tell you what you have, what you don’t have and where things are at financially. They can also help you predict the tax implications of each decision you make during the divorce process.

Whether you choose mediation or litigation, the myth that it is just you and your spouse and your attorneys or mediator in the divorce process is completely false. It can take a lot of people to help you through the process depending on your needs. So don’t leave out these key people. It can be the difference between an amicable divorce and a long drawn out process that seems like it will never end.