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Maintaining Perspective Through Divorce

Getting a divorce, for most people, is a tedious and exhausting process. However, the actual procedural process of divorce does not have to be. If you are able to get through the paperwork, a divorce decree can be granted within a six (6) months’ time. Often times what prevents a divorce from being completed within six (6) months times are: feelings of hurt, need for revenge, and pettiness.

One’s perspective, when thrown into the process of divorce, is often times completely skewed or lost. What most do not realize is that you have to be able to maintain some perspective in order to keep your sanity.

When you are brought to court for any other type of lawsuit, the main goal is to protect yourself by protecting your interests.

Often times, clients come to me seeking to “drag this thing out” because they feel if they try to reach an agreement with the other side, they are “just giving the other person what they want.” Sometimes, however, the people who want to bitterly fight to the end are the ones that in one fleeting attempt, try to wear the other person down. The mentality is that if they make the divorce last long enough, the other person will give up on getting a divorce.

Sadly, this is not what happens. Often times, the person who wants the divorce has thought long and hard before they filed for divorce proceedings and nothing, not even a long-embittered divorce, will prevent them from seeking that.

In order to maintain perspective, sometimes you have to think about a divorce in a different way. Yes feelings are involved, yes sometimes it comes as a surprise and yes it is the end of a marriage, but it does not mean it is the end of civility towards the other person. Compromise is about give and take and remaining respectful, no matter how hurt you are, will help you keep your perspective in this process.

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