Blog Posts in July, 2014

The Ripple Effect of Divorce Mediation

Divorce is something that can and will impact more than just the divorcing couple involved. The consequences of divorce will reach not only the immediate family members such as the children of the couple, but will also reach their extended families, circles of friends, and possibly generations to come. This is why I believe that our work at Alternative Divorce Solutions is so important. When we ...

Is Divorce Mediation Right for You?

The climate of divorce is constantly changing. About ten years ago, when people were thinking about getting a divorce, they would call an attorney and “lawyer up” right away. Now that couples are becoming more educated about their options, they are seeking alternative ways to divorce. Divorce mediation is now not only an alternative, it is becoming the norm in many cases. There is also a lot of ...

Applying the Principles of Positive Confrontation in your Divorce Mediation

In a divorce mediation, being able to handle conflict positively is one of the most useful skills you can utilize. This doesn’t mean you have to be happy about your current state of conflict. What it does mean is that when you do face conflict you will be able to handle it constructively. Two words Barbara Pachter in her book, Positive Confrontation , uses to describe your state of being in a ...

There are No Winners in Divorce

At Alternative Divorce Solutions, we can appreciate that divorce can be a very stressful time. You are most likely dealing with a lot of emotions that are very new to you. It is common to be angry, frustrated, scared, sad, and everything in between. However, before you decide to pursue litigation to “get your spouse back” take a moment to think about the outcome both long term and short term. In ...

Estate Planning has Evolved Into Social Media from the Grave

The climate of estate planning is certainly changing. With technology constantly advancing, the possibilities are endless for what we are capable of. As a result, many private companies have started dealing with the issues related to online access of accounts after the death of the account holder. While this is not directly related to something you would talk to your estate planning attorney ...

The Importance of Beating Self-Defeating Thoughts in Divorce Mediation

We all have them, thoughts that take us from care-free and effervescent to down and depressed. The kind of thoughts you would only say to yourself but would never say to a friend. They are the kind of thoughts that make you doubt your own desires and needs. Martin Seligman puts in concisely when he describes this way of thinking as, “making personal, permanent, pervasive explanations for bad ...

What is "Normal" in Divorce Mediation?

For anyone going through divorce for the first time, it is the unknown. As a divorce mediator, I get a lot of questions about what other couples do or what is considered “normal.” This is always very interesting for me, as we deal with so many different people from all walks of life. In fact, we have never had two cases that are exactly alike. Sure, a divorce mediator is often dealing with the ...

Managing your Expectations During Divorce Mediation

If you are going through a divorce, chances are you are worried that your financial situation may no longer be ideal. No matter which way you divide the pie, knowing that you are now supporting two households on the same amount of money that you used to use for one is a difficult pill to swallow. Despite the fact that there will be less money to go around, some people come to mediation expecting ...

4th of July Makes us Appreciate the Concept of Independence

You are probably asking, what does family law have to do with independence. The answer is – a LOT. We should all be grateful that our freedom in this country enables us to make contracts that affect our legal rights. We have the power to decide our present and future circumstances through these contracts. In this blog, I will explore three ways that family law enhances your independence. 1. When ...