Alternative Divorce Solutions, a Divorce Mediation Firm in Newport Beach Shares Their Perspective on Parenting After Divorce
Parenting After Divorce:
Breaking the news to your children that you are getting a divorce is one of the most painful experiences a family will have. Many of our divorce mediation clients have not told their children that they are thinking about getting divorced when they come to our office for their consultation. At Alternative Divorce Solutions, we can appreciate this difficulty and do our best to explain that this time will pass. To support our clients, we assure them that we will help them create a parenting plan that will work for their family when the divorce mediation process is over. If you are considering a divorce, you should be thinking of these topics in advance:
1. Who will drive the kids to school?
In this day and age, there are many two income houses. Both mom and dad rush to work in the mornings and don’t arrive home until late in the evenings. Often times, this means that they have to figure out who will take the children to school kind of last minute. In divorce mediation, we encourage our clients to keep their line of communication open. This is because co-parenting requires a lot of cooperation from both parents. However, we do try to build a parenting plan that predetermines who will be responsible for taking the children to school. The more that the parents can agree on in advance, the easier it will be after the divorce is final.
2. How far should you move?
If you are planning to move out of the former family residence, you should talk to your spouse to make sure that the children will not have to be moved out of the school district (if this is financially possible). The divorce is a huge transition for children and changing schools just adds to the stress. In addition, the closer your homes are to one another, the easier it will be to visit with the children after the divorce is final. Therefore, think about location as an important factor in your relocation.
3. What about major issues?
If parents opt to have joint legal custody, they will have to make “major” decisions together. This means that they will have to agree on where the children attend school and church. It also means that they will have to agree on medical decisions. Do you and your spouse have the same religious and moral values? Do you both agree that your child should be able to have braces? These are things to think about in advance and they are especially important because many marriages fail due to a difference in core values.
4. What will your schedules allow?
When we create a parenting plan, we do so with an eye towards the best interests of your children. Of course, this means that they see both parents as much as possible. That being said, due to the heavy demands of the parents’ work schedules, frequent contact is not always that easy. When you create your parenting plan, be realistic. What will your schedule really allow for? Creating a parenting plan that is realistic when you look at your other obligations will help avoid future disappointment for your children.
At Alternative Divorce Solutions, we take a children-first approach to divorce.