Californians take pride in a wide variety of valued tributes: fit lifestyles, sunny beaches, warm weather, and more recently, its happy marriages.
According to The Street, the state of California is the8th least-likely-to-divorce, with over half of the population married, 9.8 percent divorced and 2.4 percent separated. In other words, for every 1,000 marriages in California per year, there are only eight divorces.
Of course, this is something to be proud of since healthy relationships are scientifically proven to increase one’s overall contentment, well-being, and self-worth.
Marriage affects the majority of the US population, with 75 percent of men and 85 percent of women married currently, or at some point before the age of 35, despite the researcher’s estimate that 40 to 50 percent of marriages across the nation end in divorce.
Why People Choose Divorce
Despite the vows to stick together through thick and thin, what brings a couple to end their once-in-love marriage with divorce? There are numerous reasons, according to Dr. William H. Doherty, which leaves lovers longing for a divorce:
- Lack of commitment
- Incessant arguing
- Unrealistic expectations
- Feelings of inequality
- Unprepared for marriage
There are also a few factors that many divorcees have in common, across the nation’s states:
- Marrying young
- Low income and education
- No religious affiliation
- Premarital pregnancy
- Living together before marriage (since this tends to link to feelings that marriage is unimportant and divorce is okay)
- Coming from a divorced family
- Insecurity feelings
When weighing the decision to divorce, researchers found that a couple considers how much they invested and benefit from their marriage, their chances of finding a better spouse, and any difficulties a divorce will bring on.
In some cases, divorce is truly the best option to achieve both individuals’ happiness. However, according to the Daily Mail, 50 percent of partners who choose divorce regret their decision, miss and still love their ex, and wish they tried harder.
With lack of commitment portraying the highest reason to divorce, clearly this is the most important asset to a relationship. A sense of “us”, a craving to be with your spouse, and a willing to take sacrifices for the marriage’s sake are vital signs of a healthy relationship. Partaking in these elements will also work greatly if couples wish to stay together and avoid divorce in the long run. After all, ongoing love takes time, devotion and effort.
If your relationship is important, ask yourself these questions to increase the commitment between your relationship.
Keep the Spark Alive!
The simplest way to prevent divorce is taking the time and effort to keep your love alive throughout the tough times.
“Marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s something you do. It’s the way you love your partner every day” – Barbara De Angelis
Communication is vital in all relationships. Whatever is left unsaid creates a lack of unity, creating a breach that can rip a loving relationship apart. It takes time, devotion and commitment to remain close to your spouse, so don’t take him or her for granted, and follow these tips when in need of a reconnection:
- Write down your thoughts and let your spouse read them; sometimes it’s easier to say something on paper than it is to form words out loud.
- Splurge on a weekend getaway (rather than lawyer fees for divorce).
- Help with each other’s chores and express gratitude for everything that you do for each other.
- Rather than assuming you know everything about each other, view each other as strangers and spend a year learning about each other again
- Don’t stop sexually satisfying each other, ever.
- Respect each other’s freedom and personal space
If divorce is still on your mind, try to reconsider by ignoring dreams of finding a flawless husband or wife, because you will find that no one is truly without flaw. Imagine your spouse marrying and kissing someone else. It’s an image that most couples, even arguing pairs, don’t enjoy seeing. However, that angst and jealousy should be enough of a signal to ensuring your feelings are still with your partner. A divorce is always your choice, but it’s not the easiest option either.
Or avoid heartbreak altogether by moving to the golden state, where divorce rates are lower and temperatures are higher! However, love still exists nationwide; it just takes a little work.