Co-parenting after a divorce is a major challenge. Not only is it often difficult for former spouses to set aside their past issues and hurt feelings, but it is also tricky to establish a consistent set of rules across two separate households. Consistency is crucial for children, so if you and your co-parent have drastically different rules and routines for them, it might cause them further distress. Moreover, they might begin to act out toward the parent with stricter rules, which can increase tension in the family and create more conflict.
Helping Your Children Feel Safe
Consistent routines help create a sense of security for children. After having endured the divorce process, which was likely an unpredictable event for them, consistent and predictable routines will help them feel safe again.
Although you and your co-parent might not be on the best terms yet, it is imperative that you set aside your differences to work together on creating a consistent routine for the kids to rely on. Your routines do not have to be identical. However, although some minor variations and differences are unavoidable, you should strive for as much uniformity as you can.
How to Create a Routine with Your Co-Parent
It can be difficult to create and maintain a consistent routine in two separate households, even under the best of circumstances.
Here are some issues you should discuss with your former spouse while working together to create an effective and consistent routine for your kids:
- Your stance on key issues, such as curfew for older children
- The consequences of failing to comply with the rules
- Which issues call for flexibility and which do not
- The rewards for good behavior
- The possible pitfalls of your approach
- The manner in which you should communicate this routine and your rules to the children
- If one specific parent should handle particular issues
Below are some of the rules and routines you should consider discussing with your co-parent:
- Afterschool routines, such as when homework should be done
- Bedtime routines, such as dental hygiene or bath time
- Morning routines, such as showering and breakfast
- Rules for maintaining a clean bedroom
- Weekend or vacation bedtime routines
- Internet usage
- Allowance, if applicable
Establishing these routines with your children will also teach them how to manage their time, which will help them self-discipline as they grow up and take on more responsibilities.
Discuss Your Case with One of Our Experienced Family Law Attorneys Today!
If you and your co-parent are facing difficulties that require legal assistance, reach out to the team at Alternative Divorce Solutions for the knowledgeable guidance you need to get through it. Our team is committed to providing the highest level of customer service to ensure you achieve the best possible results for your case. With our experienced attorneys on your side, you can rest assured that your case will reach a swift and effective resolution.
Get started on your family law case today and contact our law office at (949) 558-2624 to set up a case review with a trusted member of our legal team.