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How to Maintain Consistency in Two Separate Households

Unsurprisingly, many of the same issues that created discord during a couple’s marriage often continue to hinder their ability to effectively co-parent in the aftermath of a divorce. If you and your spouse ever disagreed on your children’s bedtime or could not see eye-to-eye on the consequences for disobedience, these issues will keep coming up, leading to an endless parade of argument and conflict. Providing a stable environment for your children is crucial, however, so it is in their best interests that you and your former spouse learn to maintain consistency between both households. Since this is easier said than done, we compiled a list of tips to help you accomplish this task.

Setting the Rules

Children thrive on consistency. If there is too much of a difference between households, they will become confused and likely act out against you or your co-parent. For example, if your former spouse does not require the kids to finish their homework before watching TV and you do, it will undoubtedly create some problems and they might view you as the stricter parent, which can affect your relationship with them. To instill better habits in your children and reduce conflict, you and your co-parent must come to an agreement on a set of basic household rules.

Of course, to create these rules, you will need to communicate with your former spouse. Find the most effective method for you to have this discussion. In-person conversations do not work for everyone, so if you believe emails or texts are more effective, use these methods instead.

Below are some of the questions you should ask each other:

  • What time is the children’s bedtime?
  • What time should the children begin their homework?
  • What time should the children brush their teeth?
  • What are the rewards for good behavior?
  • What are the consequences of bad behavior?
  • If you have teen children, when is their curfew?

Realistically, you might not have identical rules in both households, but it is crucial to agree on the most important issues. Figure out which rules you are willing to be flexible on and which are hard rules you must both stick to. For example, one of your hard rules for your teens might be curfew time, but you might be more flexible on what time they brush their teeth. Ask each other and yourselves which rules are the most important and try to reach an agreement on what must be implemented in both homes.

Speak to an Experienced Child Custody Attorney Today!

If you are unable to resolve your child custody issues without legal assistance, now is the time to turn to the team at Alternative Divorce Solutions for the personalized attention and tailored solutions you need. Child custody issues are some of the most delicate and challenging any parent will ever face, so it is important to have a skilled legal professional on your side to guide you through it and ensure you do not make any unnecessary errors.

Contact our law office today at (949) 558-2624 to set up a consultation with a compassionate member of our team.