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Processing the Decision to Get a Divorce

4 Guiding Questions to Help Your Thinking

The decision of whether or not to get a divorce is an incredibly difficult one and not one you should take lightly. If you are unsure of how to best process this decision, consider the following guiding questions to help your thinking.

1. Are We Truly Communicating With Each Other?

One of the first questions you may want to consider is whether or not you and your spouse are effective in communicating how you are feeling and what you need from each other. Perhaps this is an opportunity for the two of you to work things out, learn what each other is feeling and experiencing, and how you can work together to figure out solutions. However, if you understand each other and still feel as if you are stuck, continue thinking about the road ahead.

2. Have We Tried Working Things Out?

Before making the decision to get a divorce, it’s important that you and your spouse make attempts at fixing the issues plaguing your marriage; you should not run at the first sign of trouble. If, however, your issues with your spouse continue even after multiple attempts at trying to remedy the problems, then you may have more to consider.

3. Do I Still Love My Spouse?

Before answering this question, keep in mind that love goes beyond the initial feelings of being "over the moon" and refers to the choice to put your spouse’s interests above your own. Love is doing whatever it takes to make your spouse happy, and you must make this choice every single day. The question can be rephrased as follows: “Can I still make the choice to love my spouse and put their needs first?”

4. Am I Happy?

Your happiness matters, and it should play a big part in your decision of whether or not to divorce. Does your relationship with your spouse make you happy, or do you feel you are worse off than you were prior to marriage?

Can We Divorce Peacefully?

The answer to this question is a resounding yes! At Alternative Divorce Solutions, we know that divorce can be solved peacefully through mediation. Our team can help you and your spouse work through divorce-related issues and come out on the other side of the process feeling empowered and ready for the next chapter of your life.


To learn more about our mediation services or to schedule a consultation, call us at (949) 558-2624 or visit our website.

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